Rosie and her Unicorns (October 2015)

As some of you know, little Rosie has been down a long road of bladder woes. So it is not surprising that at the age of nearly five, this has become a little bit of a sensitive issue. The every three hour toileting schedule is so much better than the cathing we were doing for so long, but still grueling in its own way. About a month or so ago, I tell Rosie it is time to go potty just like I always do and she gets all angry and indignant. She is fist clenching, foot stomping, screaming, the whole production. “I don’t want you to tell me to go potty!!!! I want to go potty by myself!!!” Um, okaaaaay. I get it, but she still has to be on a bladder emptying schedule or things go bad quickly. So then we started talking around it. For example, I would say, “Okay, Rosie, in a few minutes I’m going to ask you to do something but you have a chance to do it now before I ask you!” And that worked for a couple of weeks until that thinly veiled request also made her angry and indignant. At that point, I was all out of ideas so I asked her how she thought we should work this out. In a wacky but brilliant fashion, she suggested that instead of me telling her to go potty, I should tell her “to go chase a unicorn.” This one little phrase somehow transforms an offensive request into a task meant for a fairy or a princess. I am all for it. I would ask her to slide down the rainbow with a leprechaun to find a pot of gold and fly with the tooth fairy if that would help get her to pee. Fast forward to this morning…. Jerry is off work so he and I go out to breakfast with the two little kids and afterwards Jerry stops at the restroom. While we are waiting for him Rosie says, “I think Daddy had to go chase a unicorn! I hope he is having fun!” So naturally I busted out laughing. There is just nothing to prepare you for the absurdities of parenthood.

Diamond Head Hike

Last fall I really wanted to hike Diamond Head but my knee was bothering me so much then that I told Jerry he should take the big kids one morning and do it with them, leave the rest of us at home.  Maryanna didn't want to go so he and Tommy went together and had shave ice afterwards, sounded pretty fun and manageable.  So, anyway, Spring Break rolls around and I'm not suffering from a massive inflammatory response in my knee (that was the week before) so I told Jerry we should take the whole family and make the hike together.  Great, he says, let's do it.  We should have left early in the morning but we were trying to motivate Maryanna to finish her eighteen (18!!!!!) Kid Biz so we told her we'd go as soon as she was finished which meant we got to park right around 11:30 when neither shade nor parking could be found.  But there are not too many days when we have both reasonable weather and a cooperative knee plus an entirely free day to do something like this so I was still all about embarking on this little endeavor.  I have heard people talk about this and was never under the impression that it was an easy hike (though not as daunting as Koko Head which scares me), but as I was getting the kids ready to go and telling Rosie to take off her flip-flops and put on her hiking sandals Jerry comes in the room and says, "You know, Kate, you could push a wheelchair up this whole trail.  Twenty minutes to the top."  Wow, I thought, never having laid eyes on this trail, that sounds really easy.  "Do you think we'd be okay in flip-flops?"  (pause)  "Oh, yeah."  This is real.  He said this to me.  So I shrugged and thought, okay!  Why wear blisters on my heels if I don't have to?  [ I was so easily misled in this circumstance because we hiked the Makapu'u Lighthouse Trail fairly recently and that trail (while not exactly easy) is paved like a road, the whole darn thing.  You COULD push a wheelchair or stroller or wagon up that whole thing AND wear your sandals doing it and be no worse for the wear.]

So, anyway, Jerry drops us off at the entrance and then goes and finds parking somewhere like a mile away and jogs in (better him than me).  So all was looking good for us setting out until Robbie gets into the backpack carrier and Rosie loses it.  She wants a turn.  She NEEDS a turn.  SHE MUST HAVE A TURN OR SHE ISN'T GOING TO MOVE ANOTHER INCH IT ISN'T FAIR WHY DOES ROBBIE GET TO DO ALL THE FUN THINGS AND SHE DOESN'T GET TO DO ANYTHING FUN EVERRRR??!  O.M.G.  I told her six times she is too big to fit and soon Robbie will be, too, and told her to think about how proud she will be when she sees she can hike all the way to the top all by herself but she is only screaming louder.  So Jerry tells me to go on and he'll catch up with me.  

 We get a little ways ahead and then he catches up, Rosie still pouting, but he realizes that I have all the water in my backpack and he doesn't want me to get too far ahead.  I reach in to get a water and hand it to him and Robbie reaches back at me (from inside the carrier) and demands that I carry him.  It is hot and the trail is crowded and half of our troop is unwilling to go any further without being hand-carried and we've only just begun the zig-zagging (not paved!) ascent.  Things are not looking good.  So Robbie gets out and I tell him he has to walk but we hold hands and start climbing up the rocks at a snails' pace ("Wheelchair, Jer, really???") holding up an entire line of people behind us so we keep having to pull over to the side and let people pass us.  I have never seen so many people trying to hike a single trail before.  I think if everyone had stopped at any moment we all could have passed a coconut person to person, all the way to the top without it touching the ground, not once.  

It is hot now, if I didn't make that clear.  Sun beating down.  I am thirsty but not willing to stop and open the backpack because I fear our chances of getting to the top are borderline at best as it is and I don't want to slow down the glacial speed of the train.

One positive thing:  Once Robbie left the comfort of the backpack and Rosie knew he was hoofing it, too - she became the leader of the pack.  She ran ahead of us the entire rest of the hike, no more complaints whatsoever.  Even in her flip-flops (Thanks, Jer!).

So, anyway, we make it to the tunnel and Robbie wants me to carry him but that is why we have the backpack.  I need my hands and I'm not going to carry him.  So I drag him through the tunnel whimpering and crying feeling like maybe not the best parent.  When we finally emerge from the second tunnel, I hand him to Jerry and we go our separate ways to the top whilst he screams in protest.  Maryanna and Tommy and Rosie and I all made it to the very, very crowded lookout and quickly turned and headed back, running into Jerry and Robbie on the way.  Robbie, at this point, was fit to be tied.  He wanted Mama, not a backpack and he wanted to go home.  NOW.  So what could we do?  We just hiked back as quickly as we could.  I carried Robbie which was easier now that we were heading down.  Rosie and Tommy kept drifting to the wrong side of the trail.  I was constantly having to tell them to stay to the right.  I tried to keep Rosie out of the way, close to me.  I was taking a big step down on my right leg when my knee completely gave out from underneath me.  I just sat there on the ground, stunned, while the people all around (because there were like 50 people close to you at any given moment) were fussing over me and trying to help me get up.  It didn't hurt exactly but it felt like my knee was hit by a stun gun or something.  I felt the sliding of cartilage over cartilage as it gave out.  I wasn't sure I'd be able to walk out of there or not.  I kind of crawled up the rock to a place where I could sit and then hobbled to a bench which happened to be close by.  And in hobbling to the bench, the stunned feeling had worn off and I realized I could still walk on it.   I was okay.  I could go slowly.  So, very slowly, we finished the hike.

 When we got to the bottom we realized that we had no cash and the shave ice place inside the park is Cash Only.  For the love of God.  So we find another place outside the park that is all natural and super delicious, tucked in an alleyway on Monsarrat Ave.  This totally made up for the craziness of the hike.

 btw:  when i gave jerry the full "what the??" about his recommendations on the trail he said, oops! he had only remembered the first part of the trail!  the sidewalk leading up to the wall!  20 min, jer?  no?, okay, 25?  an HOUR, JER!  at least AN HOUR!  oh, well, you could do it in 20 minutes if you were all by yourself.  really??  no, i could not. 

especially not in flip-flops.

Rosie & Robbie Cutenitudes

I overheard a squabble between Rosie and Robbie last fall.  He had taken a toy from her and she was quite upset with him.  She turns to him and says, "You're just a mean little man I ever met!"

On the final stretch of the CG Compound from Aina Haina Elementary, Rosie usually runs ahead of Robbie (in the stroller) and I.  When we get back to the house she is lying on the the couch in the lanai as though she has just woken from a nap.  "What kept you?" she asks.  :-)

When Robbie is tired and doesn't know what to do with himself he comes up to me and says, "I'm boring, Mom, I'm boring."

Last Sunday of Advent 2015

Rosie was sitting next to me at church when the deacon started to deliver his sermon.  He started off by informing us that there were only five days until Christmas.  Rosie heard this and turned to me with her right hand held up, palm out, to show all five fingers and said, "Only five days??!"  I nodded, yes, only five days.  At which point she smiled big, then turned her hand back toward herself and began kissing each of her five fingers, one by one.  Nothing quite like the anticipation of Christmas when you are five!

Rosie's First Appt. With Dr. Sutherland This Past Tuesday

dr. sutherland is rosie's new urologist.  when his office called to confirm her appt. the day before, they gave me the address over the phone.  which i thought was nice but who needs an address anymore?  we have gps!  so i wrote it down but just as quickly misplaced it and when it was time to go to the appt. tuesday morning i did a quick internet search, confirmed it with my gps and off i went.  i did take note that the address did not ring a bell like i thought it would but i can't hold onto these hawaiian names very well so "Punahou Street" sounded as right as any probably would.  i found a building called "Kapiolani Medical Center" and since I know dr. sutherland is under this umbrella i think, we're here!  but there is construction everywhere and the parking garage is like half a block away and so it takes a while to park and schlepp in.  i get to the lobby and see dr. suthlerland's name on the directory list for the building which was encouraging, so up we go.  and his name is on the sign as we get off on the 11th floor, pointing to the right, even more encouraging, so we turn down the hallway to the office indicated and there is.... a piece of paper over the sign with some pediatric GI doc's name.  what????  so i go inside and i ask, "um, where is dr. sutherland's office?"  the lady behind her desk raises her eyebrows and says, "oh, yeah, he moved.  he's in a different building now."  me:  "is it far?  can i walk?  (knowing it was going to be a hike back to the car.)"  receptionist:  "well, you could, but it might be a little far with kids.  it's about a block and a half."  and she hands me the new address.

exasperated, i head back downstairs and stop at the information desk, all the while trying to get the new address to appear on my phone so i can decide whether to go back and get my car or go for a walk.  i ask the information desk guy about my dilemma, show him the address i am trying to reach and he says, "oh yeah, you can walk.  that is not too far.  it'll take you forever to go back and get your car."  and he tells me to take a left out of the building and take another left at Beretania St. and it'll be right down there.  okay, i think, i can do this.  bolstered with confidence i am, having the information desk guy, who is clearly local, endorse the plan.

so i start walking but i am about two blocks down before i stop.  it is really hot.  we have no water.  rosie is complaining that her legs are tired.  complaining A. LOT.  i'm thinking, jeez, i don't see anything that looks even remotely like an office building.  i try to get the address on my map.  nothing.  so i call dr. sutherland's office and explain my situation.  the lady was super nice but i was not encouraged to hear she had no idea where i was when i told her the name of the place i was in front of.  so she says, "okay, so you left kapiolani and you are on Beretania.  are you walking with traffic or against traffic?"  "against."  "ooooh, that's the wrong way.  you have to go the other way.  with traffic.  where are you again?  let me look at a map."  to her credit she stayed on the phone with me for like ten minutes as i walked down the block.  like a 9-1-1 operator who is supposed to keep their victim on the line.  "are you still in front of the church?"  "yep, still walking in front of the church."  "okay, where are you now?"  "still walking in front of the church.  my 4yo is in glacial speed mode.  it is really hot and we have no water.  her legs no longer work.  why don't i call you when we get back to the car.  then you can tell me if we should still come or just reschedule?"

rosie is really complaining now.  she can't walk.  (what is wrong with my kids???  we don't handle the heat well...)  so i finally pick her up and then robbie stands like a statue in protest.  if anybody is being carried, he feels, it should be him.  definitely not rosie.  so because i can't carry them both and we really need to get out of this heat asap, i put rosie down and pick up robbie.  this is clearly unjust but i can't carry them both and this is just how it has to be.  so then rosie starts bawling.  and then her nose starts bleeding.  i stop and get some wipes out of my bag.  i wipe her face.  she tells me she is thirsty, really thirsty.  "I NEED A DRINK NOW!!!"  at this point we are getting closer to the medical center and i see the gift shop through the window.  there is a refrigerator there.  so i start promising drinks if we can just get to the building.  i'll get them a nice, cold drink!  after an eternity, we get there.  we practically stumble into the gift shop only to realize their refrigerator is not for drinks, it is full of flowers.  so i clench my fist and we walk out of there, remembering the coffee shop on the other side of the building right next to the information desk.  it took all of my might to keep from walking up to the information desk dude and saying, "what the heck???  you sent me the wrong way!!!"  but i just paid my six dollars for three water bottles and started the trek back to the parking garage.  where, to add insult to injury, i had to pay $3 for parking.

so we finally get to dr. sutherland's office, 45 minutes late instead of the 20 minutes early we were supposed to be.  after we are checked in and the nurse leaves the room, rosie looks at me and says, "are we in the right place now???"

Is It Too Hot For Ya?

When we first moved into the house I was feeling guilty because the kids hadn't been to church in a couple of weeks so I made sure we got to mass that first Sunday after we moved in the house.  Mostly so that when we saw Jerry the next day there would be no, "We haven't been to church in weeks, Daddy!!!" when he got off the boat.  But I was less than enthusiastic knowing the church had no a/c and I was already a hot sticky mess just from living in this house with no a/c and trying to unpack the mountain of boxes we were living amongst.  So when Tommy was asking me about going to church that morning I told him, "Yes, we're going, but if it is really hot in there, we might not stay the whole time because I can't handle all this heat!"  In a less than kindly way I said this. (Heat makes me irritable, generally unpleasant to be around and this has manifested itself in many ways over the past few weeks...)  So, anyway, we make it to church and the church is actually pretty nice.  Basically the two long walls are all doors so it is like doing a service in a hut with the breeze blowing through and then they have these giant fans overhead so it wasn't so bad.  But about five or ten minutes into the mass Tommy leans over to me and says none too quietly, "Is it too hot for ya???"

Which made even my hot sticky irritable persona laugh.  "Shhhhh!  It's fine.  Sit down!"  I think I quietly chuckled the rest of the mass.

Move to Hawaii Part I

An excerpt from an email to Jer soon after we arrived in Hawaii...

Robbie woke up screaming at 2:45 yesterday morning and this morning he waited until 4a so we are grateful for that.  He has got this new routine now where he wakes up really grumpy and when I try to tuck him into bed with me (which I feel is very generous), he just screams at me saying, "STAND UP!!!!!"  And this becomes worse with jet lag so lately his nickname has been "Daddy's Big Idea" more and more.

You'll be happy to know Rosie has already won Roger over.  After dinner the night we got in, Robbie was propped up in the stroller having fallen asleep in the shuttle and Maryanna was falling asleep in her chair between breaths about when the ice-cream (that came with the kids' meal) was coming.  Tommy was over looking at the fish and when it was time to go, Rosie looks at Roger and says, "Hug?"  Then she says, "Have a good night!" And starts this back and forth banter with him as he is walking away.

Which is incredibly cute and I have to keep these moments in mind because she has had many "STAND UP!!!!" moments of her own lately.  She will become completely frozen in a state of angry cave man grunting, fist squeezing, refusing to do anything or go anywhere because she can't get a toy or because I pushed the down button on the elevator when she "WANTED TO PUSH IT NOOOOWWW!!!"

Just a joyful time.  By the time you get back the hotel days and jet lag will be long gone.  Sadly.

We picked up Jim yesterday which is good because it means (a) I got the car and (b) made it to the airport and back.  He was tired, of course, but we drove by the house and then got caught right behind the "zip line" cone dropping truck on the way home.  We needed to turn left to get to the hotel and once the cones are down, no left turns.  Also, joyful.

Then I dropped everyone off at the lobby (after I took a screaming Rosie to the potty because she had fallen asleep in the car and was doing this really angry grunting thing for no apparent reason so I had to assume that her bladder was about to rupture because there could be no other explanation for that kind of behavior when she had just been sleeping) and made a wrong turn to get to the parking garage which is just across the street.  I texted Roger and he told me where the entrance to the garage was and it took me 25 minutes to get around the block and back to the same spot.  Joyful.

When I finally made it back to the hotel, Rosie had fussed herself back to sleep and we needed a dinner plan.  I thought we should eat down by the beach and the pool.  We found some shade and a snack shack and watched people line up for the luau.  The food was okay and the kids wanted to swim so we let them swim a bit.  The pool wasn't so crowded but definitely has a murkiness to it that tells you it is never, ever really clean and if you get any of this stuff in your mouth you might die in 48 hrs.  But it is beautiful to see the water and the boats and even just admire all the tropical foliage.

Roger took me to the CG base to try to figure out the check-in and all of us, even myself, were confused as to what exactly I was supposed to be doing.  I thought I was supposed to do medical check-in or something but the clinic Mary Crawley told me about is apparently not a MTF which was very confusing because she clearly said they were Tricare Prime...  Anyway, someone gave me some TLA paperwork which I really didn't want and I now have to find my way to clinic and get clinic stuff worked out.  I am considering switching us all to Standard because the clinics are all in the thick of traffic but maybe we should wait and see on that.

So today is the school tour and going to the clinic and ordering a dryer and getting some food for the room.

Wish me luck!